My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
