I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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