When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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