im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
