Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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