I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
