Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
