I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
