if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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