i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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