Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
