I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
