so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
