so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
