I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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