i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
