Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
