i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
