Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I came so hard my ears popped.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
