After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
