What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
