You're my little dorito
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
