I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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