i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
