...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
