Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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