I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
