shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
