i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
