Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
