so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
