You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
