So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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