so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
