I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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