Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
