I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
