And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
