STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
