and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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