are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
