he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I smell stomach acid.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
