If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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