I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
