Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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