just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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