Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
