Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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