I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
