That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
