were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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