Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
